Saturday, January 2, 2010

Candy Safe

Christmas came and went and my love for candy was rocketed to a new level of absurdity.

A month or three ago I made an off hand remark to Ben about how I really wish I had a Candy Safe. This may sound like a bizarre statement to those of you that don't know me well, but let me just say, I adore candy. I'm kind of obsessed. I can tell you which mini-marts in Portland carry Abba Zabbas and which ones carry apple flavored Zots. If anyone knows the true depth of my candy love, it is my other love, Ben Sellon. And thus, for Christmas 2009, Ben gave me my bestest gift ever. My very own Candy Safe!!

Why a Candy Safe you ask? Well, don't let the typical nature of a safe fool you -- this safe is not for hording or archiving treasured objects. On the contrary, this Candy Safe is for sharing. You see I have very strict beliefs on who in the world deserves candy. I hope, by way of my now securely locked Candy Safe, to control distribution of the best candy to all my friends. Jerks don't deserve candy. Come over to my place. If I like you, I'll pop out my Candy Key and we'll get our Abba Zabba on. If you are a jerk, stop being a jerk and maybe you'll get some candy.

Thank you Ben for helping me on my quest to give candy to nice people and nice people only. You get me.







4 comments:

jimmy jimmy said...

OH MY GOD!!!!

Anonymous said...

Nice work! I hope to one day visit you and partake of the glory of the candy safe. If you decide I'm not being a jerk, that is.

Katie Reardon said...

candy for jimmy and caleb so far! who else?

annie said...

i know where there are abbazabbas in this city and YOU have a birthday coming up...